My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i will never coherently bang her
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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