so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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