you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...