I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
