The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest