Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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  (703): So... how did lowering your standards work out last night? http://tfl.nu/lq5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1174) Bad night (668)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

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  (813): I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit." http://tfl.nu/z2kp
  Replies (64) Good night (7944) Bad night (826)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

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  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4078) Bad night (678)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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  (401): and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping http://tfl.nu/w61z
  Replies (18) Good night (1056) Bad night (4895)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.

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  (985): I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call. http://tfl.nu/xapr
  Replies (15) Good night (4621) Bad night (615)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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  (248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g
  Replies (21) Good night (4394) Bad night (1094)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.

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  (440): mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again. http://tfl.nu/qawl
  Replies (31) Good night (13765) Bad night (1163)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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  (757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4
  Replies (18) Good night (10114) Bad night (1011)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (67) Good night (1709) Bad night (25923)
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  (949): View more from California

  is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??

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  (949): is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute?? http://tfl.nu/snv5
  Replies (11) Good night (8027) Bad night (1041)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (12) Good night (3279) Bad night (1239)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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  (404): Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions. http://tfl.nu/eox4
  Replies (6) Good night (1632) Bad night (513)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1454) Bad night (1362)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.

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  (740): I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up. http://tfl.nu/a16r
  Replies (4) Good night (1297) Bad night (481)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you

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  (312): I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD" (630): you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/ztcf
  Replies (6) Good night (2044) Bad night (427)

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