He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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