Can i not drive my cunt home
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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