I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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