flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
