who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
