Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
