there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
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future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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