It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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