yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
