He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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