she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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