FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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