Nicole vs. Life
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
