wanna go halves on a baby?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
