i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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