in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
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bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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