He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize