So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
