My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
