we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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