she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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