I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
