best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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