Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
