I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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