yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
