He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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