she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
