please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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