he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Verdict: uncircumcised.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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