Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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