she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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