u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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