stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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