I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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