you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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