I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
