I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.