ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
