If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.