If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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