This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
