how can u be prego again
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
