dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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