It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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