Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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