i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think people are normalizing furries
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