She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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