i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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