I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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