Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
