Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO