Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao