He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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