Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
