Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
