Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
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xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.