And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
