There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize