Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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