I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize