phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
