What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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