OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
