I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize