apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
