You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
