Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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