Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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(213): View more from California

dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.

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(914): View more from New York

He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

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(585): View more from New York

If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

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(706): View more from Georgia

From one hot mess to another... Get it together.

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(253): View more from Washington

I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted

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(636): View more from Missouri

You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?

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