You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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