He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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