No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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