Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
