She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just high enough for therapy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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