summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
